The Best Men Podcast

Episode 15: Male Insecurity Unmasked

• Michael and Sameer • Season 2 • Episode 5

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When was the last time you admitted what makes you feel insecure? In this episode, Michael and Sameer rip away the façade of male bravado to explore what really makes men feel vulnerable in today's world.

The conversation begins with our typical take on current events—from the newly elected Pope to international conflicts—before diving into an unexpected analysis of reality television. As we dissect shows like Love Island, Naked Attraction, and Married at First Sight, a deeper theme emerges: how these programs might be fuelling our collective insecurities.

During Mental Health Awareness Week, the timing couldn't be better for another one of Michael's stats revealing that one in eight men suffer from anxiety or depression, with that number jumping to a staggering one in two among neurodivergent individuals. 

We move on sharing some of our own personal insecurities—Sameer's baldness (which does have the unexpected benefit of providing early rain warnings) and Michael's troublesome knees that limit his physical capabilities.

Michael also reflects on his father's extraordinary entrepreneurial ventures at a young age, revealing how insecurity isn't just about physical appearance but extends to achievements and perceived opportunities. This generational comparison prompts a deeper discussion about the pressures modern men face.

By the end, we arrive at a 'profound conclusion', with one of Michael's best lines from the season so far:  "When you die, you're not going to be remembered by your head or your knees." It's a funny reminder that while our insecurities feel all-consuming, they don't define us. What matters more is friendship, connection, and finding the courage to laugh at ourselves.

Listen now and perhaps discover the freedom that comes with acknowledging your own insecurities—whatever they might be.

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Michael:

Welcome to this week's episode of the Best Men Podcast. I'm Michael and I'm Sameer, and if you found us, it means you're looking forward to sitting back and enjoying 30 minutes of two best friends taking the piss out of each other, debating life's big questions whilst ultimately learning how to become better men.

Sameer:

So sit back and enjoy this week's episode.

Michael:

Hello welcome. Welcome to the pod pod pod To the poddy pod pod. Welcome to the best man podcast. How's it going, smith? I'm good, thanks. How are you? How was your week? Very good. You, the Poddy Pod Pod. Welcome to the Best man Podcast. How's it going, smith? I'm good thanks. How are you? How was your week? Very good, you ask me this every week.

Sameer:

I know.

Michael:

Am I supposed?

Sameer:

to have something prepared. No, just tell me what's going on. I feel like I haven't seen you or spoken to you or heard from you in a while.

Michael:

I know You've disappeared. It's Big week this week. That's what it's every time.

Sameer:

Yeah, but yeah, in the world, crazy stuff going on.

Michael:

Guess what?

Sameer:

What Got a new Pope Madness?

Michael:

American, I know Rubbish. What, just Americans? Well, yeah, and a new American Pope.

Sameer:

Isn't this big in your world?

Michael:

In the Catholic sort of no, I'm not Catholic.

Sameer:

What do you do you? Forget it. Let's just end it. What do you do? You do you. I had sort of a brain sort of fog then.

Michael:

Think Catholic, think Father Ted, think Marco Italian.

Sameer:

Marco, our friend, yeah, catholic.

Michael:

You know, holy Mother of Mary, all that jazz so big for Marco, big news for Marco. I think he was hoping it'd be a he would be Pope. Yeah, I think he was hoping it would be a he would be Pope, yeah.

Sameer:

Well, tell me who's the equivalent in your world for the Pope? Is there an equivalent? Yeah, Archbishop, Archbishop.

Michael:

Okay, archbishop Of Banterbury, exactly I was actually looking at. This is probably quite boring, but I was looking at how you become a Pope.

Sameer:

What are you thinking of a job change?

Michael:

No, no, you go, like you just have to be Catholic and male, yeah, but you go priest cardinal priest bishop, archbishop cardinal, oh wow. You went deep into this, and then you become pope, wow, okay.

Sameer:

Fine. Did you know that this pope?

Michael:

This pope.

Sameer:

This pope, these nuts? He became a cardinal only two years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Michael:

I saw this, wildings. Wait, he was a cardinal before his pope. After his pope, what he was a cardinal.

Sameer:

Of this new pope, the new pope Two years ago by Pope Francis Nepotism. Every time it's not his son, it's exactly like when you see you have to pick them from the cardinals. Listen again, you. And well, even though it's not very corporate, you'll remember, there was that one person who'd get promoted time after time not the same as the pope, yes, yes yes, yes, yes, oh.

Michael:

I would love to be there and watch the election, though it'd be wicked. I don't understand what they're doing in there. They're going to all go into a quiet room and then they have to vote, and then what happens when it doesn't go through? Okay, they then have to make their case. I want, I want an american. Do you want to hear?

Sameer:

I only want perrier do you want to hear a brilliant fact that I know, during the conclave, the election of the pope. You will love this. Gone then. Uh, they never serve ravioli. They simply will not serve ravioli. Now ask me, why? Ask me, for why, mr pope? Why they don't serve ravioli? Because they were worried that somebody would slide a message into the ravioli that would indicate who to vote for.

Michael:

Wow, that's a good one, isn't it? I don't understand why it's so secretive and what the importance is to why the secretiveness is needed, like just make a pope Finish.

Sameer:

No, but there's no other election anywhere of anyone who is a random that no one knows and then overnight, is in charge of 1.4 billion Catholics.

Michael:

I don't think that's the real problem here. I think it's overnight. He's in charge of the most money in the world. What do you mean? The Vatican? They've got shit loads of money, haven't they?

Sameer:

Yeah, but he doesn't really control that. You've got like a financial secretary and stuff.

Michael:

Oh, what a coincidence American. I wonder what Trump's going to do with him.

Sameer:

I'm telling you what, though? I reckon there's somebody, there's a cardinal there who's like on the board of Netflix or on the board of HBO called. The Young Pope and obviously all the stuff with Conclave, the movie. Yeah, I'm telling you, there's someone in there that works for Netflix.

Michael:

I don't know. I also find it so stupid Ooh, black smoke, more black smoke, white smoke.

Sameer:

Yeah, is that your impression of smoke? Yeah, I like it. So Pope elected yeah.

Michael:

Yeah, big thing India bombed, india bombed. What's going on?

Sameer:

My dad's been telling me that war is imminent. He has a direct line into Modi.

Michael:

So Modi, what's Modi? Ministry of Defense no Prime.

Sameer:

Minister Modi. I said MOD, no Modi. I spoke to him today and he said, son, there is war, war is on our shores. And I was like, oh my God, this is a bit intense. I was like that was the first thing before the Pope, so you can see where his mind's at. So he was like, uh, yeah, there's been missiles and India have done well, they've knocked the missiles off track. They've attacked Pakistan. War, war, war. And I was like this isn't good, this isn't good news. Why are you celebrating um?

Michael:

so yeah, big, big news in the in the world this week, and also, yeah, trump tariffs gone, trump tariffs gone.

Sameer:

Oh, we've got a new trade deal. This is like a politics india and the us. Today it's been busy it makes our week, or my week, seems incredibly shit in comparison.

Michael:

Wow, shitty shitty shittest, shitty shitty bang bang. That should be our new feature. Shitty shitty, shittest, yeah. So a lot's going on and also Go on More. Arsenal lost at the Champions League. That was a big deal for a lot of peoples. Finished this week Maths Australia.

Sameer:

Okay, fine, yeah, again, I don't want. Do you watch?

Michael:

maths. Do you know what? I started to watch it because it's been on TV. It's on terrestrial TV.

Sameer:

Yeah, but isn't it like a million episodes?

Michael:

There's a lot of episodes, so are you just starting from the beginning. No, no, I just saw, oh it's finished now.

Sameer:

It's finished now. Yeah, so you watched the last four episodes? Yeah, and was it?

Michael:

exciting. It was quite exciting. It was also quite worrying the mental health of the people on the show. I then found out that you get paid to go on that show. Did you know that? What do you mean? I didn't know this. Yeah, they get paid one. They get paid in love. Do you remember that time we did a game show which we've never told our pod about we haven't we got paid. Do you remember? No, yeah, we got paid one penny, do you not remember? I don't remember.

Michael:

Yeah, it's a legally binding document. How do you remember this? It was a legally binding contract with three people.

Sameer:

I was about to get really annoyed that there's been like 10 grand in your account. Do you remember that deposit Waiting for me to ask for half of it? I had that deposit for my house.

Michael:

Yeah, so they get paid $1,500 an episode no way. And they get paid $150 to $200 a day and expenses and they're in this place for like three months waiting. How have you heard this? Is it like common knowledge this? Yeah, I read up about it when I wanted to know.

Sameer:

When you were looking at Conclave how much does it, how much you get paid to be pope, versus maths um well, this week our theme yes, I wanted it to be trash tv, but you said there's a bit pants yeah, because we don't watch that much trash tv. You've watched four episodes of a trash tv show exactly so.

Michael:

So really, this episode is about male insecurity. You made me insecure about the topic this week I did because I was like what are? We going to talk about over? No, I was like what are we going to?

Sameer:

talk about. No, I was going to say what are we going to talk about? You're like ah, it's fine, Don't over-script it, you over-script it. And I was like there is no script.

Michael:

I can't believe you've never watched Love Island. I've never watched Love Island.

Sameer:

I cannot believe you've never watched Love Island.

Michael:

sounds like you're going to an indian wedding and if I said I got a text, you won't know, that means either, no idea no, I literally have no idea what you're talking about, and your wife doesn't watch either.

Sameer:

She may have seen like one or two episodes, but she doesn't watch either.

Michael:

So love island is when you're in your 20s, and then when you finish love island, you move on to love is blind. Okay, which is not a show about dating people who don't constantly yeah, I think I've seen which one's love is blind.

Sameer:

I've only seen about three episodes of that, oh this is where they're in booths and they don't see each other and they kind of talk to each other.

Michael:

They have to talk through a wall, and then, when you finish re-watching that, you then move on to Marriage at First Sight, married at First Sight, which is basically marriage, not marriage at first.

Sameer:

Married at First Sight, yeah, but why are all these love? Are there no other shows? Trashy shows that people are watching. Is it just love now?

Michael:

there's a love island. There's a new one called honesty box never heard of this.

Sameer:

You have to you what? Actually we should be talking about trash tv, because you watch a shitload of it I did not realize you know this much. I don't watch it. She's always on your specialist topic, on mastermind shit tv from 2020 uh well, actually they're clever now they put the maths on.

Michael:

They put this one episode of it on.

Sameer:

Are you saying maths or maths? Maths, okay, married at first alright, you're not just being sort of okay, I got it see your maths, oh mate let's go do some maths in it.

Michael:

Hey, got my GC0. See your maths. They're clever. They put on like 45 minutes of the episode, then they put a shitty new program in the middle and then they put another 45 minutes episode on afterwards. That's clever. Yeah, so you have to watch shit, but you don't have to.

Sameer:

You don't have to, what? So what's the shit? One, there's honesty box.

Michael:

Honestly, you basically have to. It's like love island, but with a lie detector. So if you're telling, the truth why are you watching this shit? And then, after that, you go to love on the spectrum, which is about dating people with autism? Okay, I've got to be careful, I've got to be careful. And then you're dating on the spectrum. Is everyone on the spectrum, are you?

Sameer:

are you off the spectrum and you get to date someone? On the spectrum it's called love on the spectrum. Right, love on the spectrum, yeah, is everyone on the spectrum? Or it's not like people off the spectrum, date people on the spectrum.

Michael:

No, that's the UK show called Undateables. Oh, okay, fine.

Sameer:

Gosh, there's a lot of dating shows out there, and then you've got the UK one with Fred Cyriax called. First Dates which you've watched. Oh, I have watched that.

Michael:

I have watched that going yeah, and then they moved it from london to manchester. Oh okay, I didn't realize, and then they've got first dates children no, they don't like teenagers going on their first dates in a restaurant, which is really funny, really, really really funny, okay, uh, why is every show a love show? Because madness, because every age group, because we're programmed to watch this, because no one can find love anymore, right, okay?

Sameer:

And do you think that's because people are more insecure? Bringing it back to the topic, I think it's 100%.

Michael:

I think it's about mental health insecurities. Oh, what else this week? Mental health awareness this week. Because of mental health awareness week, one in eight men suffer from anxiety and depression.

Sameer:

Okay, would you like to say anxiety again?

Michael:

Anxiety Maths.

Sameer:

Doing maths gives me anxiety.

Michael:

So one in eight men in the UK suffer from anxiety or depression. Now would you like to say depression again. What's depression and what's anxiety? You?

Sameer:

sound like me when I was seven and all I could speak was indian and the male insecurities, there we go, okay.

Michael:

So because of that, wow, wow one in eight suffer men, men, specifically men.

Sameer:

One in eight men suffer from anxiety or depression wow, and did you know that?

Michael:

if you have, if you're neurodivergent, so autistic, adhd, whatever, yeah, whatever. Bipolar, that is, one in two suffer from anxiety or depression wow men again, or just anyone, I don't know. I think it's everyone wow.

Sameer:

50% of neurodivergent people suffer from anxiety or depression that is an insane stat that might be the craziest stat you've said so far.

Michael:

I know it's mantle what's mantle nigel mantle um wow it's creative and the whole point is it's about jesus. It's all derived back from insecurities about how you live, where you go out, what you do, what you think, how you feel about yourself and when you watch these programs right, right about you think these programs exacerbate this then, or do you think they help?

Sameer:

like, because if you think, these programs, exacerbate this then, or do you think they help? Because if you think about it. What is it Love on the spectrum? You could argue that that is a good thing because it's getting people who are neurodivergent out there dating, raising their confidence. So in some respects you could argue it's building their self-esteem. No, because they're not watching the show.

Michael:

No, but they're on the show. Yeah, but that's different. There's only a handful on the show, it's not like a whole lot of people, yeah, but those handful, you would say it's good for them, it's good for them Of course it's good for them. Anyone who wants to find love and be with someone is good, yeah, yeah. But that's for them to choose.

Sameer:

Fine.

Michael:

I think something like nine out of ten people with autism can't find.

Sameer:

I imagine for those people going on the show, good For everyone else watching it. You think it just heightens anxiety and stress.

Michael:

Not so much love on the spectrum, but specifically.

Sameer:

But the other shows.

Michael:

Specifically Lovers Blind. There's no fat ugly people on those shows, okay fine, fair enough it's like Married at First Sight. You've got all these beautiful people in Australia, right, yeah, true. And then Married it's like married at first sight, you've got all these beautiful people in Australia, right, yeah, true, and they got with all these.

Sameer:

Why are they so good looking in Australia? What do they do differently? Because they're racist. I've got that lovely glow to my face because of my racism. Tell me, though, why are they racist? No, but they're like I. Just Everyone from Australia is pretty good looking. You don't find an ugly Australian? Have you ever? Have you ever met an ugly Australian?

Michael:

Yeah, I have. You can't give me the name, can you? I can't give you the name, I just know they were ginger.

Sameer:

Right, so you met the one ginger ugly Australian. It's like the opposite with. I would say India yeah you would find a higher than average proportion of people who are not so good looking.

Michael:

A much higher proportion of good tasting biryani.

Sameer:

What is the national cuisine of Australia? Pavlova oh, it's barbecue.

Michael:

It's an ongoing debate between Australians and Kiwis. You know that. Which is what? Who?

Sameer:

invented the pavlova. I didn't even know pavlova came from that part of the world.

Michael:

I know, you know that I don't know, or you know that it comes from that part I had a friend who used to a friend, a colleague who became a friend who used to. So there weren't a friend to begin with.

Sameer:

No, because I never met them before.

Michael:

Okay, fine, fine fine, that's how you become friends to me, oh damn it, yeah, first first you, yeah, first you meet them. You don't know them.

Sameer:

Oh yeah, yeah, sorry, I thought you just become friends with everyone.

Michael:

Then you become acquaintances, then you become friends and you become best friends.

Sameer:

Are they a friend now? And then you become best men. Sorry, are they a friend now? Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, your voice went.

Michael:

she introduced me to a lot of New Zealand culture. She's from New Zealand. Okay, what sort of stuff are we?

Sameer:

talking about Like, for instance, they don't have flip-flops. Okay, all right.

Michael:

They have thongs.

Sameer:

Yeah, but the Australians do as well. Yeah, okay.

Michael:

Why do they call them flip-flops? I don't know. Do you reckon they've been watching too much Love Island? I don't know. But in Greece, in Cyprus, they call them flop-flops or flip-flops. They're not flip-flops, that's weird, isn't it?

Sameer:

Yeah, flip-flops, flip-flops, yeah, flip-flops. Okay, all right. What else did she introduce you to from New Zealand?

Michael:

In New Zealand it's very common to put your sweets in the freezer and eat them. That's a good one. Gummies in the freezer like your haribos and all these things it would lose its texture they love it. Number one, uh, number one, number one, number one in new zealand?

Sameer:

uh, no idea, mate. Pineapple cubes. Is this, according to one person? No, no, are you? Are you attributing? You're the whole country.

Michael:

You ask any kiwi? Oh mate, mate, you like pineapple cubes. Yeah, lovely, yeah lovely. I love them. I'm actually from Dudley.

Sameer:

Oh, that's actually a good point. Those from Dudley, do you reckon they actually?

Michael:

came from New Zealand I think that they were from Dudley, and they were criminals and sent to New Zealand. Oh man.

Sameer:

So I mean, this is a weird podcast already. I I'll be honest with you, because we haven't touched on a single thing to do with male insecurity. We've talked a little bit about kiwis we've talked a little bit about the pope. We've talked a little bit about every single love show that's ever existed on british tv yeah, but so why don't you bring it back to male insecurity?

Michael:

my point is you all of the the shows, yes they reinforce this male, dominant, male image Right, which causes the insecurity. Have you ever felt insecure when you go to the gym?

Sameer:

Oh yeah, okay, but I don't go to the gym. Why do you go to the gym? I go to the gym to work out.

Michael:

Okay, why do you go to the gym to work out? To be strong and go on Love Island workout, be strong and go on Love Island.

Sameer:

Actually, that's probably quite a good point. Most people, I reckon, would go to the gym. Why? To just feel a bit better about themselves, to look good, was it you?

Michael:

who had to go to the naked sauna.

Sameer:

What the fuck are you on about One naked sauna?

Michael:

Who was it who recently went to the naked sauna and said it was great? Not me.

Sameer:

I wouldn't be going there. I think it was Mirren. I think our friend went, of course, though.

Michael:

Yeah, he went to Naked Sauna. Would you go to Naked Sauna?

Sameer:

No, would you Maybe? Who's in it? Who's in the sauna? It's mixed Right, okay.

Michael:

Right, right G'day.

Sameer:

I agree, if I was persistently watching shows.

Michael:

I wish I was a baller. I wish I go to sauna.

Sameer:

Oh, um, I would probably feel a bit insecure. But here's the question you don't strike me knowing you, yeah, you don't strike me as the person that watches these shows.

Michael:

And then, when you finish, you're like, oh, I feel so shit about myself yeah, but I don't have poor mental health because of what my Physique and what my. I have children.

Sameer:

Why are you working out? Then I said to Alex why are you working?

Michael:

out To become stronger, in case I have to fight To defend your honour.

Sameer:

My honour, just in case you have to fight a bear, lieutenant.

Michael:

No, but my, my point.

Sameer:

God, there is no point. There's no point to this whole episode. You realise that there's zero point, right?

Michael:

so my point is we're married. I said this is what my thoughts are. Married at first sight. Okay, you're on paper, you're supposed to be Good looking and find the other person attractive.

Sameer:

And mentally stimulating.

Michael:

And then you get married on that day and then you basically fall in love with them you basically fall in love with. Well, you're supposed to fall in love. Okay, my point, my, my issue, I mean the whole show's crap, by the way yeah, you've been watching it I watch a few episodes. Okay, about four episodes?

Sameer:

okay, in how long week? Okay, all right, that's not too bad.

Michael:

My issue is they need to ramp that up. What do?

Sameer:

you mean they need to have kids, they need to have, they need to get married and have children.

Michael:

They need to have kids at first sight. That would really be good to hear.

Sameer:

So we watch them. What in?

Michael:

bed. No, no, no. They basically have to adopt a child instantly.

Sameer:

Based on your preferences. I want to boy, I want to. This is so unethical. This is what this is so stupid. They've got to go on on this show and adopt a child together yeah right, and what about the child? What happens if they decide they don't want to be together and they don't want the child? Then but, that's life.

Michael:

But this child is on tv getting rejected. No, the child's not rejected. The parents are rejected. How?

Sameer:

Because they don't want to be with you. They're adopting a child. Yeah, their so-called marriage breaks up. What happens to the child?

Michael:

It's like a foster home, get a chance Fostered at first sight. Yeah, is that better? Basically it's like the old story of Annie it's so stupid it's hard not to laugh.

Sameer:

Oh, that's the thing. What point is okay to start filming people in in this deprived situation? What is not okay to film kids getting fostered into a?

Michael:

sham. Why is it okay to, why is it okay to film 18 year olds, which are basically kids?

Sameer:

I don't think it is. I I never said it was.

Michael:

I don't think it is okay to film these people in the shows.

Sameer:

The people in the shows are young. Well, I don't know. You watch them not, not me. I've never seen Love Island. What are they? 18 on there? I?

Michael:

think it's like 18, 19-year-olds. Yeah, definitely I mean. There is a bit of a difference, though, between like when are you deemed an adult?

Sameer:

18, I guess I don't know if I'm an adult now. All right, let me rephrase 18 is an apple, so fine, there you go. It's definitely a bit exploitative, but it's not the same as if you're like a four-year-old getting fucking fostered into a family on TV in Australia having a pineapple sweet shoved in your face. Here have this little boy. No, no, no, I don't want it. I don't know what accent that is. I don't want it. I don't like it. All right, mate, I don't like it. Alright mate, would you like this?

Michael:

pineapple sweet or maybe, maybe like I want. I want, if we're really going to go in on people and be like right, how hard is your life, let's make it even harder. I wonder. If I like right, I want it to be like they're gonna simulate your leg being broken.

Sameer:

What the fuck where are you going with this what?

Michael:

right, okay.

Sameer:

Where are you going with this Right? Okay, so your ideal show forget all the loved ones is simulating someone getting their leg broken.

Michael:

No, no, no, Not real. I want people to feel that adversity.

Sameer:

Okay, I want to see triumph through adversity. But this is where we're going with tv now. It's getting so crazy that you will only pay attention to a, to a show where someone is like either virtually or physically feeling the pain of a broken leg, broken at first sight. Why is it at first sight? Everything doesn't have to be at first sight broken and blind wow, do you remember? This dating show called dating in the dark uh, I honestly, what are you doing with your life?

Michael:

basically two people go in a room it's pitch black, right, have a lovely chat, and then they do like challenges like oh, touch my face, whatever oh, touch my face.

Sameer:

That's not my face.

Michael:

They get to know each other and then like on the third or fourth night, then they have the chance.

Sameer:

Sorry, they're in the dark for three nights.

Michael:

Yeah, no, no, no, not like for the whole time.

Sameer:

Oh, okay, they're allowed to leave the room. They're not in the dark.

Michael:

That's like serious. So the whole concept is You're never supposed to see each other. But you can touch each other, okay, fine.

Sameer:

So some people might kiss each other. But you can touch each other, okay, fine.

Michael:

So some people might kiss each other right in the dark right right right, like you would in the nightclub back in the day yeah, and then you wouldn't know who it was. Yeah, I guess so and then, and then at the end of the show you get to see the person, yeah, and then make a decision whether you want to go out with them or not okay, and did you watch the show? Yeah, I did watch. It was quite good back in the day and what happened at the end?

Sameer:

did most people after they'd sort of felt you up in the dark at the end, would they say oh yeah, actually, yeah, well, that's.

Michael:

That's the thing a lot of them would be like oh no, I don't like them really.

Sameer:

After you've like, touched their nose and their ears and their face and pecs and that's the thing, it's this immense security.

Michael:

It's basically like, well, look what does this guy?

Sameer:

this guy don't got chance I think, though, right, like when you're dating, the only thing you have to go off really to begin with smell pheromones. Oh, that was a good one. Um, I think the only thing you basically got to go off is is like physical attraction to begin with. Like, unless you're chatting to that person for a while before you go on a date, all you've got is what they look like or biodata or biodata Indians that's why the Indians are so smart.

Michael:

Yeah, that is clever. Do you want to explain to the audience what biodata is?

Sameer:

Biodata is basically imagine all of your characteristics Height, weight, color, face name, smoker, smoker, job, money, children, children everything that you could basically put in a profile is stored on, I would say, like a bit of a crib sheet that is then shared amongst the community dating cv. I would call.

Michael:

Yeah, yeah, dating cv. It's all lies. It's like a cv. Most of it's been most fictitious. Another dating show naked attraction of course, of course, how okay?

Sameer:

I would say no one naked attraction I've never watched a.

Michael:

It's like a CV. Most of it's been fictitious. Another dating show Naked Attraction, of course, of course. How Okay, I would say. I know of Naked Attraction.

Sameer:

I've never watched a full episode, never made it through an episode. It's one of those things which appears and I'm like, oh, I don't want to watch this next.

Michael:

My favorite part of that show is the do-do-do.

Sameer:

And that that's when the barrier goes up and you get to see them. Oh, okay, so people are judging you based on your junk, would they say. I like that knob, that knob, I don't like, not just genitalia.

Michael:

Who's?

Sameer:

she.

Michael:

I barely know her.

Sameer:

Oh, so there's more, there's more.

Michael:

I think they start off with legs, don't they? I don't know, I've never seen it. They start off with legs, then they go up to the crotch, then they go up to stomach right, okay, so so this face is lost.

Sameer:

The screen just gradually reveals more of your body. It's like the opposite of a guillotine, right, okay. And what do you do if you're the person on the other end? You just pick based on what the legs, and then the. Every time, every time, the screen goes up a little bit.

Michael:

You gotta get rid of someone ah, someone, ah, okay, oh I don't like that leg. It's hairy.

Sameer:

Just the one. What's wrong with it? Why is the other one not hairy?

Michael:

Oh, I don't like that bum. It's not pert enough. Oh, so you've got to turn around as well. You can ask them to do whatever they want, and within reason. Honestly, sometimes it's a bit questionable. Sometimes they shake it Sometimes.

Sameer:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. One woman. Who are you watching this with? Are you watching this in the dark, on your own, at night? Is that what you're doing? One woman, alex, I'll be up in a minute.

Michael:

One woman had a piano and she said I like to see them shake it when I hit a note on the piano and she's like bling, bling, bling and they were like ding, ding, ding.

Sameer:

It was very strange, right, okay, when you watch that show. Does that make you feel insecure as well? No, I feel more confident watching that show? I would have thought so because there's probably more average Joes on there.

Michael:

I've seen that show and I'm like okay.

Sameer:

I'm ready to go.

Michael:

Alex. Alex sign me up. Phone the lawyers. It's over. I'm going on the show. I want to shake my belly.

Sameer:

Another good dating show. Oh my God, have you not mentioned? This should be called love at first sight dinner date. You've seen that dinner date.

Michael:

I have dinner date, I enjoy, I like dinner, I like dinner date, because a bit of food involved as well.

Sameer:

But it's never based on the food, is it?

Michael:

never naked attraction. Just go back on that. Nine, I'd say the majority of the time. They shag at the end of it.

Sameer:

No way.

Michael:

They get together that night because they've both been put up in hotels by the production team and they film this. No they don't film it and then they do like the three months later and they never talk to each other three months later.

Sameer:

But that's the same with every one of these shows. Married at First Sight. How many of them stay married?

Michael:

The people that like 1%, 5%, okay, same with all of these shows right, like three months later, six months later, you're in it for the money. Yeah, but life's too short. But what does that do to us as a society afterwards? It makes us feel like we need pecs well, not if you're watching.

Sameer:

What's the one naked attraction? Yeah then you probably don't feel you feel like I like a bit of dinner date Dinner date I like, but here's the thing. I'll go back to this Never is the person who does the right meal does a good meal really really Never are they picked?

Michael:

It's always the best looking ones.

Sameer:

Sack off the dinner bit and just call it date.

Michael:

I've seen some horrible meals being cooked on that show.

Sameer:

Don't they get a takeaway, the people that don't, yeah.

Michael:

But before that they get some. Really, I've seen some people cooking like raw chicken and stuff. It's disgusting Okay well and do they get picked at the end the raw chicken person, I think once they got picked, yeah.

Sameer:

I remember thinking oh, your meal made me feel sick, but you look good, blind, blind, blind day, oh, blind day Cilla Black.

Michael:

This week's episode is all about male insecurities yes, it is yes and my question to you is being honest, okay what are you most insecure about?

Sameer:

probably the fact that I'm bald. Yeah, I'm sort of lucky that I've got a roundish head so I can get away with being bald. If I had a misshapen head 100 I'd be in turkey tomorrow and get get some plugs. What's the worst thing about being bald? Uh, I obvious answer when it rains. Uh, it pours. When it rains like on your head. It looks like you're crying okay nothing soaks up the rain.

Sameer:

I never thought about that. Yeah, so that. But also the flip side is the best thing because, like I know when it rains before anyone else, so normally I'll get like a 30 second head start and I'll be like, right, I'm going inside now why You'll find out in 30 seconds. So you know blessing and a curse, blessing and a curse.

Michael:

What about you? What's your most insecure thing? I'm going to say what it is and you're going to have to not laugh.

Sameer:

Okay, I won't laugh.

Michael:

My knees, okay, okay.

Sameer:

Your knees why?

Michael:

I have weak knees. And it annoys me that my knees can't do the things that other people's knees can do. No, you're laughing more than I am. I've held it in.

Sameer:

I've held it in quite well. You're going to make me laugh. What do you think that average people's knees can do that? You can't bend. You can't bend, no like.

Michael:

So what, what? You just pivot the hip. I think crouching is my biggest insecurity it hurts me.

Sameer:

Where do you need to crouch? You know who doesn't have that problem I find my knees.

Michael:

It really hurts me to bend down for a long time right, okay and it's like dancing, you know a lot of pressure on the knee, okay, a lot of pressure on the knee. Okay, jumping a lot of pressure on the knee? Okay, fine, and it annoys me. If I'm doing exercise, the knee will start clicking, oh okay.

Sameer:

A bit like a squat. You must hate squats, then I hate squats.

Michael:

I freaking hate squats. Burpees don't like them.

Sameer:

Okay, fine.

Michael:

So your knees.

Sameer:

you're insecure about your knees. Yeah, I thought you were going to say for a minute, like physically, like showing off your knees. You don't like wearing shorts, or which I know to be untrue because you love wearing shorts. Yeah, I like shorts. Yeah, yeah, I like shorts. Yeah, that's such a weird one. So you're saying that do you want to are?

Michael:

you working in the gym to strengthen your knees. Strengthening the knees is definitely a pro, but now I've realized there's something worse on my knees. My hip, okay. My hip is weak, okay. How have you worked this one out?

Sameer:

Because I can't do hip thrusts and I can't do oh, like the jiggly, jiggly. I'm surprised. You seem quite limber, you're quite flexible. I think my back is strong Okay.

Michael:

Strong back weak knees.

Sameer:

Weak hip.

Michael:

I think everything that you're not supposed to do I do.

Sameer:

Okay, such as what?

Michael:

Like bending your back to compensate for all the weight and all the things like that. Fine, fine fine. Okay, knees and hip.

Sameer:

It's like the shit version. You sound like you're 85 in an old person's house Head shoulders, knees and toes.

Michael:

Knees no, no.

Sameer:

Knees no, nose no nose, head, head, shoulders, knees. Oh, it should be.

Michael:

I'm not that. I don't think I'm that insecure. I think after you've had life-saving surgery.

Sameer:

Yeah, then you just become a little bit more resilient to everything, that stuff doesn't matter. So here's the thing you probably, at some stage in your life, do you think you're going to go bald? Yeah, I'm balding now. Okay, claire, balding. Yeah, what are you going to do?

Michael:

I don't know, I'm just kind of going with the flow.

Sameer:

See what happens.

Michael:

Go monkish, maybe Mukesh.

Sameer:

Davesh and Mukesh, you could probably do what a lot of people do. You can get spray, yeah, and just spray the top of your head and there's like charcoal that clings to the hairs and it covers a whole bald spot.

Michael:

No, you cannot tell, wouldn't do that. Okay. What would you do then? Just go natural, wear like a little hat, just go natural, oh, okay.

Sameer:

You just let it go. You're not going to shave your head bald.

Michael:

I don't think I will. I think only when all the hair in the middle bit's gone.

Sameer:

Okay, fine, that's going, but everyone's bald on your side, right?

Michael:

Yeah, they're all bald and blind. New dating show bald and blind. When did your brother go bald? I think he was quite young, I think he was in his same as you and your dad, I think similar to me, oh fine, so in his 30s, 40s.

Michael:

He said when I was born, he went bald. Oh, okay, he said that was a hard Correlation. Yeah, when he was born, I went bald as well. I tell you what I'm actually most insecure about. Go on. I think I'm most insecure about the size of my kitchen, my hosting space Right, okay, I think that probably.

Sameer:

Who are you comparing yourself to Nigella?

Michael:

Yeah, nigel, right, okay, I think that probably who you compare yourself to nigella. Yeah, nigel, nigel. I think I think it's interesting because I was talking to my dad on easter about some stuff, yeah, and he was telling me. He's telling me stories about our child, his childhood, that I've never heard before. Oh, I like this stuff. So, uh, he was 15 years old yes and his dad's.

Michael:

My grandfather had a lawn uh, dry cleaners, okay, and it was easter holidays, that's right, it was summer holidays. And he basically said to dad tomorrow, uh, I want you to open up the shop and run the shop for me for six weeks. I'm going to cyprus for holiday with your mom at the age of 15 at the age of 15.

Sameer:

You know what the really interesting thing is?

Michael:

in three years time he could have gone to love island so so so he basically has to run this strike on his own and then his dad goes oh, here's a, here's a presser, because that's you wash the clothes you have to iron them the presser basically quits after three days, so he did it by hand. So dad then had to go and find a new presser, right, because they're basically. The old guy was like oh well, if you want to keep me, you've got to pay me double. Yeah, because he was like I'm going to screw this 15 year old over, wow.

Michael:

And then my dad basically put an ad out in the newspaper to hire a holiday work presser and it worked. Within two days he hired someone, paid him a little bit more At 15, he did this Did he get any support from anyone?

Sameer:

No, he was on his own at 15?.

Michael:

He didn't even tell my grandparents Right.

Sameer:

What was going on? How did he know? I had to put an ad in the paper. That's so wild, I don't know how crazy is that I think this is when he went bald. I think the stress of this has an impact, don't you find that?

Michael:

just unbelievable. What were we doing at 15? Playing Abe's Odyssey, probably. I just find me and you Can't follow me. I find that story just mad.

Sameer:

That is, how did this come up, michael? You're a disappointment At 15,. I had to hire my own presser.

Michael:

He told me at 18 years old, he phoned an airline I don't know if it was like British Airways or someone. He phoned an airline to charter an entire plane and he had this idea that he could hire a plane for one journey.

Sameer:

Like a commercial airliner for one journey, like a Boeing 747.

Michael:

And then basically sell the seats to all the Greek people to go to Cyprus. One journey, okay, like a commercial airliner for one journey, like a Boeing 747. And then basically sell the seats to all the Greek people to go to Cyprus and then when they come back to him and go, oh, it's like a million or like a quarter of a million in those days he's like oh it wasn't a good idea, I didn't do it then.

Sameer:

Oh, my God.

Michael:

He's quite enterprising isn't he?

Sameer:

That's great. He'd do so well on the Apprentice. It's some of the stories that our parents so he called up a commercial airline and said I want to charter a plane.

Michael:

Yeah.

Sameer:

And I'm only going to pay you what Afterwards I don't think he knew how it worked.

Michael:

Okay, when he found out, he was like obviously it's not going to work, right.

Sameer:

Wild found out it's not gonna work right, but wild yeah, that's insane. That's a brilliant story. I just imagine your dad rocking up with a wicked hairstyle, rocking the bangs I think it's called a toyota corolla like it's like a race car yeah yeah, like a proper race car. How did he meet?

Michael:

your mom, uh, was it on a charted plate? No, no, it was like a ranged sort of thing. Biodata.

Sameer:

The equivalent of Greek biodata.

Michael:

Yeah, there was a guy, the matchmaker, who knew both parents.

Sameer:

Matchmaker matchmaker make me a match. Find my dad a wife, yeah, okay, so they were your ear's getting hot again, yeah. I'm just looking at you and you do this occasionally where you just lift the headphone and put it on your eye like an eye patch.

Michael:

It's not my eye, my eye's here.

Sameer:

Yeah, I'd like you to put it on your eye now please. I will take a picture and I will post that.

Michael:

I think my biggest insecurity.

Sameer:

Are we still on this? How many insecurities you have? Is your knees, is your hip, is your back your back's?

Michael:

good and my biggest insecurity is time, I think, because, like I don't have physical well, if you, if you're an interstellar, I mean you would be wonderful. It's a thought it's. I'm insecure about the time I live in now compared to what was available then you write this so much to what do you mean?

Michael:

you're insecure of the time that you live in now versus that you didn't live, then I don't live them, but I think about the way the world was 10, 20, 30 years ago and the opportunities were there right, right so maybe, maybe, maybe, just resentful.

Sameer:

So you're kind of jealous of the opportunities that your dad was able to create for himself, versus today. Yeah, I just don't think that those opportunities are as readily available. But let me ask you have you done anything as crazy as what he's done, like what's the equivalent of your kind of big moonshot for Michael? You haven't rented a plane. You haven't set up your own laundromat. I used to sell sherbet at school. I remember you. You still have have like a shadow truck shop.

Michael:

Do you remember my nickname, uh? Used to call me the sherbet king. Do you remember that?

Sameer:

I don't. But from now on I'm going to save that in my phone.

Michael:

I'm going to have spit calling, aka Sherbert King, sherbert King do you remember we used to go to the tuck shop queue and I would give them the sixth form as a couple of sherbet?

Sameer:

are you sure it was?

Michael:

sherbet and not drugs. You know lunch with a little bag of coke here. Come on, do you remember lunch?

Sameer:

used to give them a coke here. Come on, do you remember?

Michael:

lunch I do remember lunch A couple of straws of sherbet and we'd go straight in. We were like ballers.

Sameer:

Yes, I do remember Payment of sherbet, please. Okay, so that's the wildest thing.

Michael:

Yeah, one bag of sherbet would be 200 straws for a couple of quid, and I'd sell them for like 10 to 20p a straw. So my insecurity is time and opportunity.

Sameer:

Right, it's not really an insecurity in the same way as your knees or hip or baldness.

Michael:

The knee really affects me. It's been like that for years, since I was about eight years old. Do you reckon it's after your slip in the paddling pool?

Sameer:

no, it was after my diagnosis of rheumatic fever really was it after that, definitely yeah I did, I was I couldn't sit cross-legged for a long time you'd hurt, you would hate the gurdwara I have have been.

Michael:

I know you remember the. Is it Lunga? Yeah?

Sameer:

yeah, yeah, the food afterwards. Well, you know, your brother-in-law used to invite me to yeah it could have been Maybe the Lunga, afterwards the food, and I'd have to sit there cross-legged for like an hour.

Michael:

Yeah, you'd hate that, you'd hate that.

Sameer:

Okay, that's a fair one. Do you think they'll ever get better? If one thing you could wish for right now right, you have all these insecurities. If there's one thing that, magically, I could grant you to do with your body, what would it be? Obviously, mine would be a head full of hair or a straightened nose. I don't like my nose. One thing I could wish for, one thing you could wish for on your body that you could immediately improve. What would it be?

Michael:

knees. It would be the knees.

Sameer:

Yeah, definitely, I'd love a pair of knees that worked but would it make that big a difference to your life, would it really? It's, it's squatting.

Michael:

it's kind of occasionally going to the gym Like it's not really, I think if you could get new knees like you can, new knees- Like hip replacement. That's different Hip's kind of crucial.

Sameer:

Hip, hip hooray.

Michael:

Anyway, I think that's probably what we've got time for. No matter what you have in your life that you may feel insecure about, the whole point of Mental Health Aware awareness week is to try and avoid slipping into anxiety, depression. Uh, obviously we can joke about my knees and your bald head, because we know, in the grand scheme of things, friendship and you know, joy and love is what's more important.

Sameer:

But I think the whole purpose of whether you're insecure or not, yeah, it's about making light of it with, with friends and with people 100 agree Like part of this whole thing, like today is you might have insecurities, whatever those are, and they're totally legitimate to your point. You're insecure about your knees. I'm secure about my baldness. If you can joke about it, have a laugh about it, not be so sensitive about it. I think it gives you a bit of peace and joy and happiness.

Michael:

I think it's OK to be sensitive. It. I think it gives you a bit of peace and joy and happiness.

Sameer:

But I think it's okay to be sensitive. Yeah, it's all right to be sensitive, but everyone's got something right. You're not the only person that's got something that you're insecure about. There has got to be everyone on planet Earth who's insecure about something.

Michael:

I think the whole point of these shows and what we're talking about, the whole point is when you watch it and you finish, or when you talk or you listen to the pod and you finish. The whole point is it doesn't matter, it's okay well, the pod doesn't matter.

Michael:

The pod matters it's okay to talk about this thing. Yeah, definitely, and everybody's got these issues that they're going to go through in life at some point or another. But at the end of the day, that's not what's important. You're not going to be remembered by your head or your knees that's a brilliant quote.

Sameer:

That's a brilliant quote. That's the quote of the day and the quote of the year so far. When you die, you're not going to be remembered by your head or your knees it's in between your ears.

Michael:

That's what counts, okay? Well, thank you very much for listening. Any else to add to me?

Sameer:

no, no, I think we've spoken enough today today.

Michael:

Alright, don't forget. You can slip into our DMs on all of the good channels. You can listen to us on all the podcasting services and remember whether it's your head or your knees when life gets you down. Be the best around. Nothing's going to ever keep you down. I'm the best around.

Sameer:

Nothing's going to ever keep you down.