The Best Men Podcast

Episode 14: Social Media Addiction & Screen Time: The Modern Pandemic?

• Michael and Sameer • Season 2 • Episode 4

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How much of your waking life is spent scrolling? Ever wondered what that's doing to your brain? We've all felt that urge to check our phones first thing in the morning and right before bed, but at what cost?

This week, we dive deep into the world of digital dependency, exploring how social media platforms are meticulously designed to keep us hooked through dopamine hits and what psychologists call "limbic resonance." The startling revelation that spending just three hours daily on social media significantly increases mental health risks had us questioning our own habits – especially since the average person spends 5-7 hours on their phone each day.

The pandemic transformed our relationship with screens, with opticians now reporting unprecedented vision problems in children. We tackle the uncomfortable question of whether tablets belong in classrooms and share a powerful thought: "When you want your child's childhood to end, give them a phone." Our honest conversation about parenting in the digital age explores the impossible balance between keeping children connected socially while protecting their development.

We also discuss the concept of digital detoxing – could you go a full week without your devices? The surprising anxiety this question triggers reveals just how dependent we've become. Between Michael's camping adventures (which aren't quite the digital detox he claims) and trying to limit our new found TikTok obsession, we offer practical insights on reclaiming control over your screen time.

Whether you're concerned about your own digital habits or trying to navigate parenting in an increasingly connected world, this one's for you! Give it a listen, and maybe consider putting your phone down afterward – even if just for an hour.

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Michael:

Welcome to this week's episode of the Best Men Podcast. I'm Michael and I'm Sameer, and if you found us, it means you're looking forward to sitting back and enjoying 30 minutes of two best friends taking the piss out of each other, debating life's big questions whilst ultimately learning how to become better men.

Sameer:

So sit back and enjoy this week's episode. Hello, welcome to the Pop-Pop Pod. How is it going?

Michael:

How are you Very good, very good, sammy G. What's going on? Oh, I burnt my hand. I heard what's going on. What were you cooking? Oh, man, you Very good, very good, sammy G. What's going on, oh?

Sameer:

I burnt my hand. I heard what's going on. What are you cooking? You know what you like. Charlie Bingham's.

Michael:

Yeah, I do, actually. Do you, do you really? I know Charlie B.

Sameer:

So the interesting thing about Charlie Bingham's if no one knows is it comes in this little sort of wooden pot so it almost feels like you're making the food yourself. Quite rustic yeah yeah, it makes you feel, it doesn't make you feel bad it doesn't make you feel as bad so I couldn't be bothered to cook today so we got a Thai green curry. I've had that. It's actually it's not bad.

Michael:

It's very good. It's really decent. It's really really good.

Sameer:

I tell you what though.

Michael:

I paired it with some prawn gyozas where from?

Sameer:

just like I don't know what the brand is, but it's like.

Michael:

I don't think it was itsu. It might have been itsu. From Waitrose I get the itsu gyozas.

Sameer:

They're very nice it might be the itsu ones and cook them for five minutes, put a bit of water in, steam them. I took the lid off in my haste.

Michael:

Burned my hand. Yeah, it's always when you least expect it. That's when life burns you. It annoyed me. Life gets you. Life's going to catch you oh that's deep.

Sameer:

Yeah. Just when you're about to tuck into a prawn gyoza, life bites you. Just when you underestimate the gyoza. I know the gyoza's very good, they are nice takeaway ready meal market.

Michael:

It's banging now like it's not what it used to be no, no, it's not.

Sameer:

What are you, isn't? It's not like um? Do you remember those ones that you used to get from, like tesco's, where you just pierce the film lid and put it in the micro.

Michael:

This is good, this is decent. We used to get mom and dad. Just get them for us now and then, uh, my brother that's good parents we used to have a lovely microwaved meal. Brother used to love the uh carbonara tagliatelle. Oh, okay fine Lord knows what was in it, because now I know how to make real tagliatelle carbonara from Italy.

Sameer:

No, no, no, you said almost like Italy, tagliatelle, all in one word.

Michael:

But okay, I don't know, I don't know what they're doing to that one. Really that that one's full of chemicals.

Sameer:

But here's the thing. Could you make a tagliatelle that is microwave ready that you would be able to?

Michael:

No, exactly that's the key. Can you make something edible in the microwave? I don't know how they do it, but Charlie B is good. You know what else? Very good. My second go-to would be for him Go on the sticky toffee pudding.

Sameer:

I've not had his sticky toffee pudding.

Michael:

I've not had his sticky toffee pudding. Is it really good, you're?

Sameer:

going to get fat. The only thing is, though, right. I've told you this before if I was to pick one British dessert, I would definitely pick sticky toffee pudding. The problem is you're eating more calories than your main meal in that one dessert Nah nah, nah, but it's good stuff, I, but it's good.

Michael:

It's good stuff. I mean, if you want to be naughty wow, we should, we should, we should.

Sameer:

clip that If you want to be naughty.

Michael:

If you want to be naughty, get the sticky toffee.

Sameer:

Yeah, it's good stuff, yeah, and this show is thank you to our sponsors, Charlie Bingham.

Michael:

Just a shout out to Charlie B.

Sameer:

Any day you, oh God, how was your week? Amazing week. Oh wow, I've been really unwell.

Michael:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you've been telling me I know what's going on in the United Kingdom at the moment. There is a vicious virus going on.

Sameer:

I had this the week before you and it took me it's taken me two weeks to get over it.

Michael:

I honestly laid down in the middle of work day and couldn't get up.

Sameer:

I phoned this. I phoned this thing. I was like I just can't do anymore. I just can't do it.

Michael:

It's not covered, though, right, because you would have told me that before we started recording today, it could be covered. Uh, I don't know. I I don't even know what covered is anymore. Really, I think covered is all around us like love. It's all around you and so the feeling grows so that feeling ain't growing anywhere, that feeling of lying in your filth is not a feeling. I want to grow.

Sameer:

Can you believe? Isn't it weird, though, that in our lifetimes we went through a global pandemic? I know, this is so weird, I know.

Michael:

And, speaking of global pandemic, it links nicely to the episode.

Sameer:

Oh, there we go. I like it.

Michael:

This week's episode is all about social media and screen time, and also there's the term that I heard recently the digital detox. Okay, the digital detox Of which was definitely not happening during the pandemic.

Sameer:

Oh, mate, it must have been exponential during the COVID pandemic, like usage of social media was pretty much all you could do Do you want to hear something you're saying, go on.

Michael:

I had to go to opticians this week. Old man.

Sameer:

It wasn't for.

Michael:

Monocle, it wasn't for me.

Sameer:

It was for my child Okay. Yeah, feel bad. Yeah, do you feel bad now? I can't wait, fine. Okay, anyway, so fine, okay, um anyway so I had to go to opticians and he said to me navid, shout out to your son shout out to navid um, he said to me that since the pandemic, the need for glasses has and kids eyes have got so bad he said that adults and children together have spent an insane, highly high amount of time on screens really as a

Sameer:

result of the, as a direct correlative response to the pandemic, tell me this it probably doesn't help that increasingly and I don't know this, I like personally, but kids are now getting like tablets in school- this is madness.

Michael:

Yeah, how crazy is that? I really I would be.

Sameer:

I would start a petition, like if I had a kid and they were being given tablets in school. I would say I don't want that Teach them in a way that doesn't make them reliant on school Papyrus. Give them papyrus, please Give them back the abacus, bring back abacus. Where's the chalk? Chalkboard, son. Yeah, exactly I. I want them to be able to understand, like maths and english and all the rest of it, in the same way that we were taught. I can't see how it's better using a screen, do you remember?

Michael:

but no, I, I, I, unfortunately, I don't agree with me, with you, I think that I think there is a place for technology, peppa Pig.

Sameer:

Peppa Pig during dinner.

Michael:

However, I do think at a certain age, you should pivot to these things, not from such a young age.

Sameer:

Okay, I agree, I can get on board with that. Thank you, this is the first for the pod.

Michael:

Do you remember when we were in maths class years ago?

Sameer:

Okay, I have very bad memories of maths class, do you?

Michael:

remember they had this thing on the wall called like the metric rule or the meter rule, some weird shit.

Sameer:

Okay.

Michael:

And it was like the old-fashioned. It was an old-fashioned calculator.

Sameer:

Right, like a conversion chart.

Michael:

Yeah, you basically, in order to work out what like 71 times 39 was, you'd quickly go on there, you'd move this thing over and then automatically it would tell you what the answer was Okay, interesting.

Sameer:

This is why you were in the top set and I was in the bottom set, because I probably wouldn't have been able to. What's that on the wall, sir? Shut up. What's five times five.

Michael:

Rainbow. What's that?

Sameer:

it's a rainbow, so may stop looking at the wall honestly, though for the longest time, and this is not in keeping with my indian heritage. How bad was I a maths? I was pretty bad you.

Michael:

Math was your weakest subject by far, by far, my weakest subject.

Sameer:

I don't really know why, though yeah, you would have thought, the one thing my parents could teach me was math. Like my dad's, basically avant, so he does all these calculations in his head.

Michael:

Sameer, I go and buy the Perrier at 39p a litre and I sell it at 45p a litre. How much profit do I make if I don't drink 30 of the bottles when you're home, Bubba? I don't know, I don't know. I want to drink this Sprite.

Sameer:

Dad, if this is what I've got to do to get Perrier, I don't want it anymore.

Michael:

So this week the statistic I found for you you know, like a good stat, I like a good stat as well Is that spending more than three hours on social media so not screens social media per day puts you at a much higher risk of mental health problems.

Sameer:

Spending just per day puts you at a much higher risk of mental health problems. Spending just three now, I don't think that's a high number, I don't think. Three hours, I think, if you look more than three hours of social media. Fine, but okay, fine, more than, but even say it's three hours, I don't think that's too much and I'll tell you why.

Michael:

I tell you for why because how many shits are you having? Honestly tell me why. What do you mean? I'll tell you why at? Least half an hour per shit on the toilet, on social media no, but I'm times up by five oh, there's my social media allowance gone.

Sameer:

No, but I'm not always on socials on the toilet, like sometimes I will, I will read my like phone. I'll read something interesting. That's not social media, then? Yeah, exactly. But what I'm saying is, if you look at the average number of hours that someone uses on a phone, I know it varies by countries, but it's something like five or six hours or maybe seven hours in most countries, I think South Africa, you were telling me, is like off the chain.

Michael:

It's like 12 hours minimum.

Sameer:

So if three hours of that is social media, I don't think that's too bad.

Michael:

I think the thing is, though now, this is where we probably don't fall into statistics which, now, this is where we probably don't fall into statistics which is why our mental health isn't necessarily impacted by social media as others are. We don't seem to use social media like everyone else, and I'll tell you why.

Sameer:

Up until a week ago I didn't have TikTok, up until we started doing this podcast and we thought, right, it's probably useful to get whatever this TikTok is. I wasn't on it and now I reckon. No word of a lie. This is how dangerous social media is. I reckon it's about 45% of my social media consumption.

Michael:

You're going on TikTok every day.

Sameer:

I'm not going on every day, but I would say what's that?

Michael:

Is it Snitch? I don't know.

Sameer:

Golden Snitch. Are you talking about Harry Potter? You'll be on Snitch.

Michael:

Twitch, Twitch right.

Sameer:

Watching other people game. If I ever do that, you're welcome not to be my friend anymore. I don't get this.

Michael:

I don't understand this. Why are you watching other people play the game?

Sameer:

I don't know, it's weird. It's a bit of voyeurism, I think.

Michael:

I mean I would watch like a man install a door or drill a hole. I'm going drill a hole, so it just says I would watch a man I know like I. I happily would watch video after video of a man drilling like a hole in the wall. Oh god, I thought.

Sameer:

Thank god you. You finished that sentence, I think.

Michael:

I think it's interesting, like what's his drill technique, what's his, how big's the?

Sameer:

hole. How big's the hole? What does the drill fit in? The hole drill bit gonna be like yeah, yeah, how long is he drilling?

Michael:

for? You know, I like it. I like to look at his drill, like, yeah, his drill bit.

Sameer:

No, like what type of drill he's got yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, I know, I know because I learned to buy in my drill with a little light on, because there's so much to use here anyway yeah, we digress.

Michael:

My point is I am not going to watch someone playing a video game that I don't even have. I think it was mid-pandemic. I went through a phase where I was like I don't, I can't, I can't look at all these other people I know on social media anymore. Why it it became?

Michael:

I found myself becoming very negative yeah, yeah, I found myself comparing and being this is the problem and being critical and then starting to like hate on someone I'm not even near, because I'm like, I don't want to see it, because you see the picture perfect life that someone has and it's like, mate, this is just a fraction of your life. This is not the reality and I don't want to see your fraction, I want to see your reality. Yeah, yeah, I want to see your whole.

Sameer:

I was see, I'm not that bad at maths. Uh, I was gonna say this, right, and I've said this to you before and I can't remember if it was last season or this season, but I've said, on social media, we compare our worst with their best. Yeah, and that's the problem is, you are, like you said, seeing the fraction of what this person wants to put out in the world, and more often than not. I think I was watching a documentary the other day about a woman it's on netflix who basically, um, she was trying to, like, um, become a social media star, right, and this, this person that was looking in on this other woman said look, what you don't often realize is these people who show this really manicured life often have got the biggest worries and insecurities and troubles beneath the surface, but you don't see any of that, totally, totally, and then you've got that, then you've got the stalkers on the on fortunately we don't have that problem.

Michael:

Shout out to our stalker shout out to our stalker, yeah, yeah those people basically zero posts, 100 follows yeah, yeah, you know they're on there just looking at you, but not yeah, yeah, yeah, but they're not but I feel like that's almost us. We don't put anything of value apart from this podcast out.

Sameer:

Yeah, a little bit, we put such little of our personal lives out there, because it's just not me and you yeah, but I end up like clicking on everyone's story.

Michael:

Oh look where they are here's my thing socially if I meet you in the pub. Davesh right.

Sameer:

All right, Davesh.

Michael:

Or more like Coral. No, no, no, no, no. I'm going to meet you in a pub, davesh. Okay, all right, ramadan's over, it's all right you can have a drink.

Sameer:

Why does that matter?

Michael:

I don't really understand that. I have to be honest with you.

Sameer:

Yeah, eid. Okay, Eid is when you finish Ramadan and you have this huge celebration. Okay, it's a bit like Lent.

Michael:

You understand Lent. Oh yeah, do you ever do anything for Lent?

Sameer:

Sometimes what's the wildest thing you've given up.

Michael:

God In two seasons or in a season and a half?

Sameer:

probably the funniest thing you've said I, I will give you a high five for that one. That was that was.

Michael:

That was wonderful, that was wonderful genius um, thank you and you've continued ever since um no, my point is I'll see you, davish this is the thing I heard when we meet each other in real life like now we talk about ourselves and our personal life around 30% to 40% of the time.

Sameer:

Okay, so when you meet people in real life, 30% to 40% Conversation.

Michael:

Because actually when you meet people socially unless you're a bit of a sadist, it's not unusual to sit in a room and just talk about yourself yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No one's that narcissistic, narcissistic, that's what me not saying on social media, people talk about themselves 80 of the time. So so this is why zuck is the devil incarnate so zuckerberg realized this, yeah, yeah, and he monetized it?

Michael:

of course he monetized it, and now he's trying to give the world. But zuckerberg realized this. Yeah, yeah, and he monetized it. Of course he monetized it, and now he's trying to take over the world but zuckerberg realizes. And then, because people talk, 80 of the time you seek and desire positive feedback in the form of likes. Right, yeah, yeah. And when you get likes, it releases dopamine and it's addictive yeah, and it makes you feel better.

Michael:

It makes you feel good so when you're posting stuff about yourself and you don't get likes, you start to spiral, so then you post again, and then you can post again, and then if you get comments, then the comments are bad and it is a disastrous concept so here's a question that I will post to you.

Sameer:

We're doing this podcast yeah right. Part of our journey in this is just to get out there do something for ourselves, but also part of it is to share this right and the way that we share it is often if social media social media. So that's why we got a tiktok. We've got an instagram. Everyone's welcome to follow us or not.

Sameer:

But here's the thing yeah, when I put out a video, yeah right, I will say to you, mate, this video is doing great, it's trending above the others. We're getting a few likes and I find myself more like engrossed in that than in the podcast, and that I find to be a problem, because I don't want that to be how we make sense.

Michael:

It's a sense of uh personal acknowledgement and positive information yeah by getting that acknowledgement, it hits the dopamine. It makes you feel liked, it makes you feel loved, makes you feel happy. Yeah, and it's basically seeking that kind of reassurance from people that you don't even know, and that's why it's so dangerous.

Sameer:

I totally agree because, look, whether this was ever successful or not, the value of it for me is me and you get to meet each other. We have a chat, we have a laugh. Maybe I've had a stressful week, which I have had the last week, or maybe you've been feeling rubbish. For 40 minutes that goes away and we just connect. For me, that's the value. So all these likes on like little clips here and there doesn't really matter, but I find myself getting drawn into it.

Michael:

How many people do that for? How many people do this for themselves? Yeah, nobody does this for themselves. No, everyone does it because they want to kind of fill a gap or trying to. They need to seek positive feedback. Yeah, and that positive feedback, at least that positive sensation which is that dopamine.

Michael:

But I think that's true, like generally in life. And then and then there's a flip side. When you're looking at your phone, yeah you go, this is fun, I'll look at my phone positive dopamine comes through. So then you look at the phone a bit more and then you start to interact with the phone a bit more and then, before you know it, you're in this dopamine cycle where you just can't get off your phone. And then you're looking at sticky toffee pudding at three in the morning and then I want one, so it's double worse.

Sameer:

Have you heard of this term, limbic resonance? And I haven't researched this, it's just something.

Michael:

I Sounds like a song by Gloria Estefan.

Sameer:

So limbic resonance is this idea that Something that entices your senses it could be bright lights, it could be noises, it could be imagery and and social media has been crafted to resonate with you more in terms of your limbic resonance than anything else, and so when you see all this stuff going on on social media, to your point, it raises your dopamine levels.

Sameer:

Here's the flip side of it. When you stop using social media, the other things in your life just don't have the same spark anymore. And that is the, I think, the hidden cost of social media. Is this Not when you're using it, when you're not using it?

Michael:

Ah, touche son, so when?

Sameer:

you're not using it. Everything's just more dull because you're not seeing this video that's perfectly crafted to resonate with you and suddenly your life just seems so much more boring because it's not what you're seeing on socials.

Michael:

You're looking at your best friend basically in a tight t-shirt, because it's not what you're seeing on socials. You're looking at your best friend basically in a tight t-shirt. Do you know what I heard? If you want your child to no longer be a child, give them a phone.

Sameer:

I like that.

Michael:

When you want your kid's childhood to end, give them a phone. So you would hold off until 16?. We had this conversation the other night. Alex wouldn't hold off until 16. I mean.

Sameer:

You just wouldn't give him one, you'd give him a pager Page me.

Michael:

I mean you can only do your best with your kids and have an open relationship. Yeah, so they're happy to talk to you and you can talk to them If they feel like they have to hide things. I mean, when we were growing up it was like slip out of line and get a clip around the ear.

Sameer:

Yeah, you know, no, cain, we're not like 85.

Michael:

It wasn't like corporal punishment yeah, we used to get a slip or everything you know man. Oh bloody ug around the ear.

Sameer:

Dan, I don't want ug, I want hug. Tell me this.

Michael:

Do I own a pair of hugs? No, no, no, I know you own a pair of hugs.

Sameer:

Tell me this Did you get hit as a kid?

Michael:

Yeah, okay, not as much.

Sameer:

Did you deserve it, I don't know Having At that time, not now, not judging it by today's lens. In the lens of that time, could you understand why you got slapped's lens. In the lens of that time, could you understand why you got slapped.

Michael:

Oh not, then, not in the moment.

Sameer:

No, okay, fine what sort of stuff did you do in order to get a clip around the year?

Michael:

uh, because I have one that I want to share with you. Defiance generally, just generally defiance.

Sameer:

You shall not pass any defiance I was a very stubborn child I hated being told what to do, so if, if your parents told you something to do and you didn't do it, you'd get a clipper on the ear.

Michael:

I know it'd be like levels, it'd be like I would push back and push back and push back. But it's silly things like Can you think of a specific example? Yeah, I remember, I think, once I think my dad wanted me to get him a glass of water. Oh, I think my dad wanted me to get him a glass of water. Oh, my God, how evil. And I was like, son, get me a glass of water.

Sameer:

Son get me a glass of water get yourself. Wow, Now that's not just defiance. I think that's rude. If I did that to my dad and he said, oh, get me a glass of water. And I went no, oh, my Lord, I know.

Michael:

God, I don't know what would have happened. It's part of growing up the rebellion, isn't it To say?

Sameer:

You know what I would do If it was my dad. I would have gotten him a glass of water and made sure it was still because. I know he doesn't drink still water and I'd be like you never specified. I've done my duty. Goodbye. Where's the Perrier? I learnt it from my father. So before people judge me for my peri addiction, this has descended from generation to generation, my dad and my dad before him. They loved the fizzy parney water in India?

Michael:

Do they have fizzy water in?

Sameer:

India. Actually, that's a good point. I don't know if they did. Maybe they had to pump it themselves Right? Should I tell you my example of when I got the only example I can think of? When I got hit, parents went out. They left me and my sister at my uncle's, who used to live next door. I don't know if I've told you this. I went to sleep and I couldn't get to sleep, obviously a different room, whatever. They came back late that night, came to my uncle's to pick me up, woke me up. Why they would wake me up, I don't know. I had to walk across the lawn to my house and I thought you know what, I'm going to teach him a lesson and I hid and what I did is, as we were going to the front, door you, you hid, I hid.

Sameer:

As we came to the front door, we had this cloistered bit, and above it was a window which looked into the um kitchen, but you were basically hidden from all corners. You were hidden. Yeah, the only way you could see me is literally if you looked through one angle. I hid there for half an hour in the middle of the night because I was pissed off with my parents that they woke me up.

Sameer:

They called the police oh, the police turned up knocked on the door, looked left through the only angle that you can see me and thought well, he's just fucking pissing about, he's hiding behind a cloister in front of his door, in front of the police, in front of the police. The police grabbed me took me inside, sat me down and said your son was outside hiding basically my uncle, who still, to this day, scares me more than my dad came woke up, my my dad said we found him what time was this like?

Sameer:

three in the morning, three in the morning, so four in the morning he came across from the other house, simply walked in, saw where I was sitting, slapped me around the face, backhanded in front of the policeman uh, no, policeman wasn't there, but my mom and dad were there I don't recall my mom and dad ever slapping me yeah backhanded, slap across my face and walked off and just walked.

Sameer:

That was like a mic drop moment. Walked off and obviously I was crying and that's the only memory I have of ever being hit wow, and I think I deserved it not to put it out that anyone should do that to their kids. But I mean, I hid from my parents in the middle of the night, such that they had to call the police that's not.

Michael:

It's a bad thing. That's a bad's pretty dick. I don't know how you Did they ever tell you that. I can't remember I think vaguely. But did you not like, did they not see you?

Sameer:

walking off. No, I was behind them. We were walking in a line. Mum, dad went into the house, pooja went into the house.

Michael:

I simply shut the door behind Prejudice was too tired to notice that I hadn't followed her in it's ballsy.

Sameer:

It's very ballsy. It's really bad man. If my kid had done that, I would just be petrified. Firstly, where they've gone.

Michael:

I wouldn't slap them.

Sameer:

How old were you, do you think?

Michael:

I must have been really young.

Sameer:

I must have been six or seven or something like young I'm surprised they didn't carry you at that age.

Michael:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know, but yeah anyway. So I wouldn't.

Sameer:

I'm not sure about this, it's a bit mean, anyway, I just thought I'd share with you the the childhood trauma, yeah, yeah, exactly sure the audience want to hear that.

Michael:

Yeah, um, anyways, madness, but anyways the whole point. I don't know how we managed to get to this topic. It's so random.

Michael:

Yeah, I don't know we got to this topic either, but um, you know once my uh, when I was a more of an older child, my mom got a newspaper and I was really being a dick, I was really being pissed off, and she went to hit me with the newspaper. Yeah, and I grabbed and she as she hit, as she went to hit me with it, I grabbed it in my hand and took it off her and then went and went to hit her back. That was the last moment anyone ever in my family tried to hit me with it. I grabbed it in my hand and took it off her and then went to hit her back. That was the last moment anyone ever in my family tried to hit me. I'll never forget the shock. My mum looked at me like oh shit, oh my God, ai has finally we have artificial general intelligence, here Generative AI, has finally rebelled.

Sameer:

You were like I robot, oh that's so funny, but okay, so would you like back on the topic of social media now? Yeah, um, do you think you would stop your kids if all of their friends were on socials, like, and that's how they communicated? Yeah, would you stop your kid from being on social media if it meant that they were then isolated from their friends? Do you want to know my true answer?

Michael:

Yeah, yes.

Sameer:

Okay, quite confidently. So, you don't care if it means that they don't have friends because they're not on the same platforms as them One of Alex's cousins, the old Uncle Greg. Yeah.

Michael:

He said to me you've got to make your home life, You've got to make your home life.

Sameer:

You've got to make your own AI.

Michael:

AI child.

Sameer:

And next week I want to see it They'll become a lawyer. Next week I want to see your AI on my front doorstep.

Michael:

It's like you've got to make your home life like four to five times more appealing than whatever stupid stuff they're up to Wow.

Sameer:

I tell you what. What you can find on social media now is like mr beast spending, I don't know, 50 million dollars per episode on his get. You're gonna make your home more appealing than that. No, no, no. What are you gonna do?

Michael:

you have to make it more appealing than whatever people are talking about at school, right, okay, so, for instance, if you're like you could go out to this club or pub. Yeah, but I just feel the bathtub full of chocolate.

Sameer:

What do you?

Michael:

want. I've got a whole fridge full of beers and I'm doing.

Sameer:

And he's 12.

Michael:

I'm doing a whole barbecue and you're going to be cooking and you know it's free-flowing food. You've got your whole den upstairs to go and chill out. You've got a.

Sameer:

TV. This is never going to happen, because you will be constantly in an arms race with all of his friends. And at what point will this stop? Dad, they've just offered me a 10 grand. What are you going to do? Oh son, I've got a whole bathtub full of cash upstairs. Why do you need that 10? Grand for beautiful lady there. Well, son, I've got someone coming over later.

Michael:

No, it's like you've got to make your home life as appealing as possible for your children to want to spend time with you. That, for me, is the key.

Sameer:

Let me tell you this Kids don't want to spend time with their parents and teenagers don't want to spend time with their parents.

Michael:

Kids do want to spend time with their parents.

Sameer:

Which one do you want to be? I want to be the cool parent Lies. You will be the responsible parent. You can be responsible and cool at the same time. No, oh yeah, responsibility is really cool.

Michael:

Yeah.

Sameer:

Yeah, those two go in the sentence at the same time. He's really responsible, isn't he the coolest person? I'm not sure we haven't done a question to the pod. Question to the pod Can you be both responsible and cool? I say yes, I say no and I say and a secondary question, because no one ever answers any of our questions. Secondary question is do you think teenagers want to hang out with their parents, yes or no? You obviously think yes, I think did you not ever hang out with your parents Because I had no friends.

Sameer:

No friends, yeah, did you not ever hang out with your parents Because I had?

Michael:

no friends.

Sameer:

You had no friends, yeah but you didn't talk to me for that summer. So what did I do?

Michael:

I had to chill with Dad Counting Perrieres. The year that was a good year. 2001 Perrieres fantastic.

Sameer:

The vintage was wonderful, no, but I will say this Excellent, bubbles, bubbles, darling. I will say I really don't think that, no matter how appealing you make your home life, at some point teenagers just want to rebel. They don't want, they want to hang out. They want to kiss a girl, they want to meet up with their mates, like me and you not kissing. But when we went to o2 and all of our friends were out, my dad told me this story a few weeks ago. He said you know, the first time you, you went to watch a movie by yourself with your friends.

Michael:

I said yeah.

Sameer:

He said do you remember what happened? I said no and he said I'll tell you what happened. You went to the Finchley Road O2 and I went to come pick you up after the movie and all of you were fighting in the car park and your mum said go save him, go save him, go save him. And uh, and I said to your mum, they are boys, they are simply enjoying themselves. Let them enjoy themselves so was I there? Yeah, you must have been there. I mean, who? Who was our mates with at that point?

Michael:

it was you I can't even think of anyone. I don't know karan kumar.

Sameer:

Maybe he was there, I don't know. Michael would have been there I reckon james baynon would have been there fighting. We were fighting and he was like they're play fighting. Let them play fight. They're boys. What do you expect from them? That was the first time I went out to watch a movie and I probably had more enjoyment in the car park there you go see boys just want to be boys. They don't want to hang out with their parents.

Michael:

Do you know? What do you know? The other day it was about 10.30 and you were asleep and I was with Alex and I. We were looking at cinema listings because we were like I would really fancy going to cinema and there was a cinema listing at 11.45 pm yeah and I wrote and 7.45pm, yeah, and I said to her well, you know what?

Sameer:

Who the fuck's going there?

Michael:

Obviously, I can't go to that.

Sameer:

I'll be asleep by midnight.

Michael:

But I remember there was a time where it was very normal for us to go to the cinema, and stupid times.

Sameer:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Michael:

And it was horrific.

Sameer:

Why on earth did we do that? Stop lying to the people listening. You're making it out as though you would. You, you can't go to a cinema at 11 45. When's the last time you went to a cinema? Full stop, uh december.

Michael:

Go on, get with the year.

Sameer:

December 2024 okay, in new york okay, fine, it was quite good actually. I enjoyed it. It was a nice experience. De December 2024. So it's been a couple months, yeah, fine, and before then, do you remember, was it a few months before then?

Michael:

Probably when I saw John Wick 4 in 2003. 2023.

Sameer:

So what I'm saying is you're going averagely once a year to the movies.

Michael:

Yeah, correct, Fine, 45 isn't the big thing you just can't now in your life, just if I go into cinema full stop. That that true. That is true, yes, yeah, there you go whereas I can, but why did we used to? Why is that even a thing? Who the hell wants good cinema at?

Sameer:

midnight. I don't know again. I don't want to make this episode about my dad, but he was weird, like when he was growing up my age baby a bit younger. He said, yeah, I would average Lee go see four movies a day.

Michael:

I was like what are you on about? And he loves bollywood, so it's like son son. At least four, if it's not a good I had six board coming in uk.

Sameer:

Four movies every day. How?

Michael:

did he afford to go?

Sameer:

I don't know he would say this, he'd be like. He says all these like little things.

Michael:

He worked during four films.

Sameer:

No, no he he's one of his mates used to own safari cinema, which at the time in london, in harrow, was the only cinema that did like just indian movies. He made mates with him and he would go and just watch back-to-back movies on like a weekday uh no, sorry, on a weekend, so he'd work the whole week, yeah, and then the way that he would relax is spend like 12 hours in a cinema watching movies.

Michael:

How do you even meet people? I?

Sameer:

don't know, he did this in India as well. He would just go and he'd be like, yeah, In fact, once he watched something like four or five movies in a day, came back home and just that day his family said, oh, we're going for a family outing to the movies.

Michael:

And he was like shit.

Sameer:

They can't know that I've been at four, so he went for a sixth movie because he couldn't tell them where he'd been. He'd been skipping school brilliant.

Michael:

Oh wait, he skipped school to watch movies. Blimey, this is six movies in a day.

Sameer:

Your dad openly told you he skipped school yeah, I mean, look, dad did loads of stuff. Dad used to beat up teachers you were talking about that, teachers keeping our ears to you know and then parents clip in a ears. He once dangled a teacher over a bridge oh no, I've never, I've never done I've never told you these stories.

Michael:

Never done the old batman upside down trick honestly once there was a teacher walking on a bridge.

Sameer:

Him and a mate sandwiched him and said which way do you want to go, left or right? And he was like, what do you mean?

Michael:

he's like in india. In india, yeah, he's like which way you want to go left, or yeah, he's like which way do you want to go left or right, that's different.

Sameer:

And he's like why?

Michael:

And he's like because you insulted us in the class oh wow, madness. Disgusting Madness. Not sure I want to be friends with you anymore.

Sameer:

He's like a gangster.

Michael:

Not sure you should be on this pod. Anyone out there want to join? I'm sure you. Vijay wants to join.

Sameer:

Join, join or he's going to chuck you over a bridge. Oh, dear Thames, thames, left side, right side, south.

Michael:

Bank, non-South Bank. Any other news this week?

Sameer:

Any else you've been up to? Not really. I went to the gym again, my God.

Michael:

What are you becoming?

Sameer:

Chris Hemsworth.

Michael:

I quite enjoy this gym life. I have to say Gym life, you becoming Chris Hemsworth. I quite enjoy this gym life. I have to say it's opening up new doors to me.

Sameer:

What kind of doors?

Michael:

The doors of the gym, the back door. I quite like it, it's quite good to do exercise, isn't it?

Sameer:

Did you do?

Michael:

anything different this week, matt, every week is different.

Sameer:

Every week. I think Really I was today.

Michael:

What happened?

Sameer:

to my voice. Who was that? I don't know. Do you focus on a different body group? I part of the body, was it?

Michael:

whatever different body group, yeah. Uh, yeah, different different muscle formations, yeah oh, that's much better why are?

Sameer:

we pretending that we know anything about muscle formations, body groups?

Michael:

there's the quads and the lats and the slats and the lits. What did you? Schmeds and the schmooze, what did you do this week? Uh, a lot of. I did lunges this week. Okay, man, do you know what I don't understand?

Sameer:

when they don't come in use lunges, just do hard. Now tell me, do you mean lunches?

Michael:

is that what you're saying I? Went for lots of lunches this week no, no, no, just a lunge is hard, a proper lunge, now tell me when would it come in use?

Sameer:

do you think you would need to like bridge a forward?

Michael:

I mean strengthening your core is very useful. Is it core or is it quads? Well, it's quads, but it's all part of the whole thing, isn't it?

Sameer:

It's all part of the body. Again, we're going to pivot this whole thing to a gym podcast soon, as you can tell Best men gym.

Michael:

Yeah, the best gym, but I like it.

Sameer:

I have to say I think um I can't.

Michael:

I can't do this on my own, though I need. I needed a friend or someone to do it with gym buddy.

Sameer:

Yeah, you let me down well, we don't live that close to each other to just I've signed up to a gym.

Michael:

Oh yeah, I haven't been once I signed up because I had a special offer on and I want free lunch free lunches uh if you want to come, free lunches uh free movie.

Sameer:

You want to come free lunches free movie you can come and watch four movies a day and you can work out your eyes. No, I joined. And because I've been ill, I joined when I thought I was getting better. I've been ill so I haven't been, but I am technically a gym goer do they give you a discount like they put your membership on freeze? Yeah, yeah, you can do that and it's like a rolling thing, so you can just cancel it whenever and join whenever.

Sameer:

It was like 25 quid it's not bad, right For a month. No, it's good. It's good. But I have to say exercise is good for you.

Michael:

It's definitely. You can see that it's just. Are you seeing changes in your body? You've been arm wrestling in a week. I'm not weak.

Sameer:

Already you can tell you're not weak.

Michael:

Yeah, I can actually lift more weight than when I first went. Have you Okay.

Sameer:

I'm going to ask you a question now. Do you have some goals in mind?

Michael:

No. Okay, so you don't have like this outcome that you want in three months or six months. I want to be able to stand up without jiggling too long. That's the goal. I want to be able to stand up without jiggling too long. That's the goal. I want to be able to lunge without falling over. No, no, I don't have goals like that.

Sameer:

I think those sorts of goals are, but you've got to have some kind of aim. Yeah, I have an aim, okay.

Michael:

Every week, without fail, without fail, unless there's a holiday involved or something like that.

Sameer:

But you were ill this week.

Michael:

I still went ill this week, I still won't.

Sameer:

I'm not sure that's wise. I'm not sure it was either, Sameer, I don't think it's wise to work out when you're ill, is it?

Michael:

When you stop breathing like this.

Sameer:

I can't breathe. I can't breathe, okay, fine, alright. Well, at least that got you off social media. It did get me off social media.

Michael:

So what do you think about digital?

Sameer:

detox. Would you do it? Could you do it um, could you do it?

Michael:

okay, again, common reference point do you watch white lotus? I have. Have you watched the one or two, not okay?

Sameer:

in season three. This is not a spoiler alert, right for people that haven't seen it. There is an element of digital detox in this season three and um. A family is asked all families are asked on this particular retreat to put their devices in a bag and for the whole week the devices are taken away I think that would give me a lot of anxiety.

Sameer:

I think I could. If you told me don't go on social media, I could do that, but being away from all kinds of digital contact, like no phone, no watch because it's connected to my phone, no ipad no nothing like to me, that is.

Michael:

That's quite hard I'm not sure I could do it. Do you ever leave the house without your phone?

Sameer:

not intentionally. I've left it at home and it's fine, it's not a problem. Um, I don't have that bad anxiety with it. But if you told me for a whole week no calls, no emails, no messages no no entertainment of any kind, no eastenders. For my wife this is not good because she likes then she loves eastenders, so you couldn't do digital yeah back to digital detox. I would really struggle. What about you?

Sameer:

um I'm not that bad to be honest, if I took your phone and all devices away for a week oh, a week is hard. Yeah, let's week oh, a week is hard. Yeah, let's call it a week, a week is hard.

Michael:

What were you thinking Like?

Sameer:

an hour.

Michael:

Or did you go to lunch? You go to lunches and they're taking away Like a day. Like a day. Anyone can do a day. I don't know Some people get the old jitters.

Sameer:

I'm a wobbly A day.

Michael:

I could do. I'll tell you what. When we go camping, we normally Me and you Not me and you, because you don't do camping I don't mind it If it's glamping.

Sameer:

I will kindly go if there's a toilet available.

Michael:

But when we go camping, we normally don't have any devices for 48 hours, and it is really nice. Why don't you have any devices? Because, to be honest with you, you don't know anyone you want to speak to on the phone, don't you want to? Check weather. You might check the weather a little bit, but you don't really use your phone, and also your phone battery dies after a while. Don't take a portable charger.

Sameer:

You can, but so I'm sorry this whole thing. You have your device with you, I presume. Yeah, you have your device with you, right?

Michael:

so how is it a detox? It's not on. I'm not saying it's detox, I'm saying we don't tend to use the device. Okay, do you watch anything on it?

Sameer:

No, Really, yeah, in the tent You've got nothing to do. What do you do in the tent?

Michael:

By what light?

Sameer:

Torchlight. I just imagined you with a torch in your mouth flicking a page. Oh, that's amazing. Oh my God.

Michael:

Oh my God, Amazing, that's amazing. I would love to see you with torchlight reading a book, or you read books by the fire, the campfire.

Sameer:

What fire Campfire.

Michael:

So okay Hang on.

Sameer:

Let's build this image. You've gone away with your family, yes, somewhere which is probably very close to a city, somewhere, right, you're not. We're not in the wilderness we're talking about, like Wyoming. Last time we went to Tring. Great for you, right, you went to Tring you went to Tring, okay, near the nature reserve which you tell me is wonderful you've been you liked it.

Michael:

Don't. Don't act like you've not been. You've been.

Sameer:

I don't remember I have, probably I have been. I think you went with vikash. I haven't been with vikash to trink you have.

Michael:

You went for a walk around the no, that was.

Sameer:

That was the rice lip lido oh, which is shit right. So you let's set the scene.

Michael:

We're in tring yeah, we're in tring. It's probably probably a bit of a hill.

Sameer:

Tring's on a hill, okay cool, you've pitched your tent on a hill. Yes, right, you're with your family.

Michael:

Correct your devices are in your pockets, no one's looking at anything Not in our pockets? No, when are they? They're in the tent bedroom In the tent bedroom. Yeah bedroom.

Sameer:

Yeah, this is sound like harry potter, where you open the tent and it's like an entire three bedroom house there is three rooms in our tent, correct? There are three rooms in your tent, correct, okay, fine, so is there a bedside table that you put your telephone in? Did it say in the tent bedside table? No, there's pockets in the tent. But right, you put it in the tent pocket. You set everything up. You set your fire up.

Sameer:

Yes, right, you've killed a deer from tring natural reserve okay yeah, you shot a deer roasting over the fire and by torchlight you're reading a book. Is that how it works out? And then you do that for 48 hours?

Michael:

no, because when you go camping in the summer it's normally light until about nine o'clock. Okay, fine.

Sameer:

So what's the need for the fire? Keep you warm, okay. I'm not sure why camping is such a hard concept for you right now? No, what's a hard concept is how, in any way. This is equivalent to a digital detox when your phones are a meter away from you.

Michael:

You're not using your phones, though. That's the thing, but you are. Don't lie to me, you're not using your phones, don't lie to these people, don Timmy.

Sameer:

Don't lie to these people, don't make mugs of them. Why are you using the phone For the weather, in case there's a bad bit of weather that comes?

Michael:

your way. But you know, if there's bad weather, you look at the sky. I don't believe for a second.

Sameer:

You're not looking at your phone. If I messaged you, I reckon you'd message me back.

Michael:

Anyway, enough about that. Anything else to add about your digital detox and social media?

Sameer:

usage say that it's definitely gotten worse I think I would like to think over time. As I age, it gets better, it's good. It's getting worse.

Sameer:

That's not good, it's not good and I think the catalyst for it has been this podcast, because I've had to download tiktok and so, as a result, I now I'm on tiktok. Uh, if I'm going on holiday or if I'm going to a restaurant, what do I do? Let's go on tiktok. See the review. See the review. I hate myself. The tiktok is a review place now as well. If you put in a restaurant's name and review on tiktok, there'll be a person like filming it what's this?

Michael:

what's this?

Sameer:

dish. What's the atmosphere, what's the ambience?

Michael:

I hate it because that's horrible, because if you ruined your experience, I love it.

Sameer:

I love knowing what to expect and I'm not great with spontaneity. We've spoken about this before.

Michael:

Spontaneity.

Sameer:

Whereas I think you are very good at it and I would like to know the general vibe of the place I'm going to.

Michael:

Fair enough. This kills it, so I hate that. I love it. Oh well, on that bombshell of a note, I think that's going to be all we have time for this week. Everybody, thank you very much for listening to us. Thank you very much for being an avid fan and also a supporter of the pod. There's no more news other than we just want you to DM us, follow us, like and subscribe. Remember you can vote on Sameer's poll when he submits that, on whether you can be. Was it responsible and cool? Yeah, something like that. And, as I say, thank you so much for listening. Remember, when life gets you down, be the best.